More from Kumalawaty Sundari

My family has a habit of eating at a restaurant together on the weekends. I live in Jakarta where there are lots of cozy places and different types of food, but my parents—especially my father—only want to eat Chinese food. Food from other countries does not suit their palates. As I realize that family time must be our main focus, I decide to enjoy other types of food at other times, either with my brothers or my friends. Having Chinese food sometimes just to be close with my parents is not a problem for me. It is much better than forgetting togetherness among us and making food the subject of a quarrel with them.

When I feel bored with eating Chinese food, I usually do not go out with them. I try to create togetherness at home, either buying the food that my parents like or sitting together in the dining room and having a simple chat while enjoying our food. In my opinion, fighting with my parents over a certain food that we do not all like would just waste time and energy. Besides, nobody wants to “feel cold” at the dining table even though everything is delicious and well prepared, just because we do not appreciate someone’s taste.

I have learned that it depends on us if we want to live in peace or not. And of course if we cannot maintain peace with our closest ones, our daily life will be more difficult. Anger and sighs are parts of us that can make us easily lose focus. Though many times, I feel that my loved ones are more egotistical, not caring about me or my desire to make peace in my family a priority, then God makes the Spirit inspire me with what I should do so that everybody can be happy, not just so that someone else is pleased but I get the disadvantage.

Many times living with family or relatives can make us lose peace, since we tend to fight over simple things because they are near to us daily. Nevertheless, by leaning on God surely we will always know how to react in circumstances that could destroy our family’s bond, so that instead we can make togetherness the most important thing in our family relationships. This keeps our connections alive, as opposed to hiding our dissatisfaction and letting the cold feeling remain till we cannot sense the warmth of love in our relationships anymore.

May the Lord of peace abide in our hearts so that we can shine in our families as God has intended for us, even when we have a different opinion than our loved ones or struggle to accept their attitudes.